Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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