Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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