get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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