Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
