That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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