he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
