im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
