Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize