You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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