adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
