What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
