He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
should my penis look like a turkey
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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