Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
