If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
