Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
