And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
