i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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