Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
