Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
