At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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