If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
