Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
