Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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