Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
