my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Are we still banned from the library?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
