Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
