dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
