Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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