How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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