he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
