is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
sarcasm needs its own font
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
