is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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