hotel room ftw
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
