oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
