before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
