the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
