I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
