oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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