We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
