Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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