So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
