As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
