you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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