Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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