So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
