Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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