I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
