Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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