Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
