So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
