Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
