thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dick has a subreddit
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
